College Life, Life as a male nursing student..

I Pic i took inside a hospital men's room, yes i look weird

ah college life has been very bad for me so far, anyway, im still hanging on, but i kinda felt that I was alone in college, until i talked to someone, i wont tell his name here for privacy concerns, anyway, being in college and being here for only 4 years so far isnt easy for a guy like me, i still feel like im still new to this country, i still cant understand how society works and and how people react socially. The i dont care mentality really puzzles me. Anyway, heres a brief history for you folks, I just graduated from High School in way back in 2003, i had a LIFE, a good one, and i loved every minute of it, until my parents would come and spoil it, it feels like what happens, they seem to take control of my life and really ruin, and this folks i lived a good life with good friends and i wasnt hooked on everything, being a child that ddnt grew up with a presence of a parent, i was ok with it, until my parents would decide to take me permanently to the United States without even letting me know. I was told 1 week before leaving to the US that I was gnna leave there permanently, thats where the horror began, i wasnt able to tell everyone just in time that im leaving for good to the US, i hope my parents read this blog and hope that they understand what im going through now, the US isnt a country that ill easily adjust to, and with my nice english accent, people wont notice that im a freshie to the customs of this country, its not easy to tell you guys esp ending up in a multicultural city such as Miami, at first i could speak to my seatmate because i was really a freshie, i hope that people understand me, that being a conservative i do have values that i need to hold on to, and I think that being more liberal will get me more friends, i say its not easy at all. The thing that i dont like about the United States is that they barely encourage free competition and they mostly have monopolies. And i got always stressed out parents who tends to pour their frustration on their children. Im still adjusting to this country and i feel like still a FOB, im a conservative who did well through life in the Philippines by being conservative and being liberal got me into trouble, and of all the liberal people who are successful, they will eventually run into problems in the future, they cant be perfect at all, everybody will be affected, regardless of youre background, as a popular chinese saying says, we all have a maximum point in life, once we reach that, we will go downhill after that, anyway, thats my story. Ah, college life, i barely made any friends at all, my parents tend to control me and keep me inside the house, so what else what i cant do, im just here online typing on my blog. I need to know the fact that im an adult now and cant be always around with my parents, and they need to know that too and let me loose a little into real life. As for any classmate that might be reading this right now, the Andrew u saw in college isnt the real Andrew, i tend to keep a fake face to hide my depression, and i seem to be pretty good at it, but its not good. Ive had some nice friends but not friends that i was close with, tbh, i never really had close friends while coming to this country, its gonna take a while before my social circle will open up, and im gnna try my luck this fall. Good thing a talked to someone, and somehow i felt relieved that I talked to him and i dont feel like im myself anymore, and seem to have a little boost of confidence and its working for me so far. So as for college, wish my guys good luck, i screwed up one class, and i want to change from that point on, i cant keep the same lifestyle that destroyed me, and hopefully my parents understand whts going on with me, its a complex emotion, depressed since i cant make any friends, the demons of the past, the anger i still feel for not being there for me and siding on her damn sister, i just hope she has more empathy towards her son and reconcile with him, that way my spirit would rest, but thats only 1 part, she should stop trying to contain me inside the house and have an open mind, and stop pouring her frustration on her children, because its not good for her, shell tell u, what can i do, i work and shit like that, so that means i got no choice but to suffer her verbal suppression?, she needs to let me go first and have an open mind, because then she kills my confidence and i dont want to do anything and escape her and run to the computer to escape the real life, i do admit, ive been escaping real life for sometime now and i need to stop it and have a glimpse into reality. She needs to understand whats going on with me, and for my classmates from college, im not a weird person, i need to adjust fully to society different from what im used to, and give me some time. As for being a male nursing student in school, its not easy for us males, since females tend to be the majority and males are always being discriminated esp my dreaded clinical professor, she needs to loosen up a bit. Anyway, this is my rant as for now. Comment if you want, but please have an open mind when doing so :D